Letting Go. (Now don't go singing the song...)

It is hard at times to let go of what makes us feel safe and comfortable. I learned this lesson (I thought) awhile back when I had to let go of my job and become a stay at home mom when I wasn't sure that was what I wanted to do. I had to let go of the 3-year-old class I had taught at church for so many years (I began helping in that class in 2005 when I began at Baptist Bible College and took over the class in 2007 after returning from a semester in Ecuador).Shortly after that I had to let go of my church and church family that I had grown to love and feel so secure in. I let go of the city I had lived in for years as God directed Shane to a position in a small town across the country. I thought I had done my fair share of "Letting go..."
I apparently had more lessons to learn about letting go. Throughout all of those transitions I never felt like my floor was falling out from under me. I felt shaky and slightly nervous but never felt like I was going to have to be homeless or destitute. I didn't honestly fear that we would be on the streets with just one wrong step.
Now I can say I have felt a small pang of that fear and I have learned that God truly does supply when we need it and exactly what we need.
My husband was let go in the beginning of February. He had received a raise in December and assurances that his loosing his job was not even on the table since he had felt a disconnect from his employer for a few months. The immediate dismissal from his position with no unemployment to collect as well as two growing boys and a new 2 month old baby in a town where we had no family in the area to lean on and no back-up income since I was a stay at home mom was a floor falling out from under me. Man, my sense of security was crushed. Thankfully, God was there. God allowed it. God knew. And God was in TOTAL control. I spent about a week in total shock. I went through motions but didn't want to get out of bed. I had a new baby and kids to keep in line and no time for depression and gloom clouds. But still I found myself not able to think clearly. I couldn't understand what had happened. Thankfully God sent kind people to our door giving me hugs when I needed them and phone calls from people I needed to hear from telling me what I knew but so needed to hear "God has this," "God won't let you out of His hands," "Keep your eyes on Him."
There have been days where the gracious landlord was knocking on our door and we didn't know what to tell him. We have had heat turned off. Shane sold his computer and some things. He got rid of our dryer. We had already given up cable and phones followed as bills couldn't be paid to keep up with things. So many THINGS! Rent was paid through gifts and utilities turned back on right when we needed them to be. (a couple cold baths never hurt anyone!) I felt we were so close to being told to leave our home that we could taste it.
We knew things couldn't continue like they were. My husband had applied at so many places and had interviews and interviews and nothing came up until a part time job was offered to him and he took it even though pay wouldn't be nearly enough and the drive was out of the way. The first week we didn't know how he would have gas to get there every day and a man came and filled up his gas tank! We were by no means meeting ends BUT we were surviving.
Now we are no where near the clear. But we have candidated for a position at a church and we are still looking at the silver lining that God has in store. Either way a move is in order since our lease is up and we have no reason to stay put. Upon returning home this week we will be packing up our stuff and selling whatever we can and making a leap of faith and moving. If the job is offered to us we will move that direction with what we have left. If it is not we will be moving "home" to the town where my husband's family is so that we can begin building back up what we can. I can start working there since my license is still active in that state and hopefully my husband will find work easier around this area where there will be more options closer to us.
The journey will continue. The amble doesn't end. We are not through with what God has for us, nor are we going to give up on the ministry. God has called us to serve NO MATTER what circumstance we are in or what we happen to be doing for a living. We can still be part of the "Ministry". And until a full-time position opens up and calls us we will wait and serve in our local church as best as we can and continue to grow and learn and stretch.
Let us run our race.